


Leon the Headmaster

by WhydYouMakeHotNoodlesOnSuchAHotDay



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-21 11:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30020985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhydYouMakeHotNoodlesOnSuchAHotDay/pseuds/WhydYouMakeHotNoodlesOnSuchAHotDay
Summary: Makoto has a fling with Leon at the murder school.
Relationships: Kuwata Leon/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Characters aged up to 18+.

It was morning, and a few days had passed since I joined Hope's Peak Academy and my world turned upside down. In spite of everything, though, I was beginning to get used to my new circumstances, and I think the same was true of my classmates as well. I got dressed so I could meet them in the dining hall for breakfast.

I exited my room, but I noticed that Leon's door was wide open. Curious, I took a peak.

Leon stood with his back to the door, shirtless. He was combing his hair. I watched his shoulders flex with each movement of the brush. I must've still been sleepy, because I was lost in a daze until Leon spoke.

"Dude, you need something?"

I was startled and jumped a little. When I did, I realized Leon was facing a mirror, and he could see my reflection.

"You've been staring at me for like two minutes," said Leon. "You need something?"

From what Leon just said, I concluded that I must've been staring at him for approximately two minutes. He turned and looked at me expectantly, as if he were waiting for an answer to a question.

"Uh, no, just watching," I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, uh, no!" I said. "No. I, uh, wanted to tell you something. Oh, yeah! We're supposed to meet in the dining hall."

"I know," said Leon.

"Okay. Great! See you there."

"Okay."

I pulled myself away from Leon's doorway and walked down the hall.

Sayaka ran up to me and grabbed my arm. "Makoto, the dining hall's _this_ way."

"Oh, right." I turned and followed Sayaka. 

* * *

At breakfast, I felt lost, like a tame little house cat who'd wandered into a group of larger house cats. I stood with my tray, indecisive, while everyone else got their food. I finally made up my mind. I poured some waffle batter into the waffle iron when Leon came up behind me.

"Oh, cool, we have a waffle iron," he said.

"Uh, yeah," I said. I started the timer. While I was waiting, I wanted to make conversation with Leon, so I racked my brain to utilize my one standout capability: memorizing a short list of things I read online. "So you were the cleanup hitter for the national high school champs, right?"

"Yep," said Leon.

"Cool," I said.

I looked at the waffle iron. Two minutes left.

I continued. "It must be nice to be good at something."

"Mmm-hmm."

I nodded.

I looked back at the waffle iron. One minute and fifty-nine seconds left.

"So," I said, "how do you like it here?"

"It sucks, dude."

I laughed. "Ahahaha, yeah." I sighed.

"The baths aren't even open. It would be nice to strip off and relax in the water."

"Yeah. Are they renovating?"

Leon was confused. "Are you asking _me?_ "

I was also confused, since he was obviously the person that I was asking. But I just shrugged.

Leon scoffed and smirked. "Dude, we should sneak in there."

"Uh, I'm not sure that's a good idea. It might be against the rules."

"Dude, sometimes rules are meant to be broken." He smiled.

I giggled, but made a mental note that Leon was someone who might break the rules. He did have a lot of piercings, after all, which signaled a rebellious attitude. His ear, below his chin, even his tongue... I wondered if girls found that look attractive. It certainly seemed clear to me that they would. His tongue piercing alone was a playground for the imagination—

"Did you stay up too late or something? You seem to be staring again."

"Oh, uh, maybe..." I smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess I do stay up pretty late sometimes."

"I'll make sure to hit you up if I'm feeling restless. Maybe we could form a late night squad."

"Uh, yeah, that'd be cool."

The waffle iron dinged, and I turned to get my waffle. Then I heard Sayaka's voice from the doorway.

"Hey, Makoto! Are you ready?"

"Uh, yeah," I said. "I'll be there in just a moment."

Sayaka left. Leon glanced at her as she left, then turned back to me. He smirked.

"I think you two would hit it off."

I blushed. "Oh, we're just working together. Trying to figure out what's happening with everything and stuff."

"Well, I think she'd like you."

"Oh, um, thank you." I smiled sheepishly.

"But let me know if she doesn't. Especially if she likes musicians."

I was no longer smiling.

"Kidding! Kidding." Leon slapped my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He grinned.

* * *

♩ **DING DONG** ♩

Much later that day, I woke up from a deep nap. It took a couple of seconds to remember the frustrating situation that we were all in, a day made even worse after seeing those DVDs. But there's nothing like a refreshing nap to make your mind at ease. I checked the time. It was about 9 P.M.

I got out of bed and went to the door.

Leon was there. I let him in.

"Yo, Makoto," he said. "What's up?"

"Not much," I said. "I was just taking a nap." I ran my hand through my hair to brush away the bed head.

Leon raised his eyebrows as something caught his attention. He walked further into my room, circling around to look at the golden sword mounted on my cabinet.

I circled around behind Leon. As he bent over to get a closer look, I noted the uniqueness of his spiky belt buckle, and the way his pants managed to contain his athletic musculature.

"This is an interesting sword," he said as he glanced toward me.

I quickly averted my eyes, pretending to look at a spot on the wall as if it were very interesting. "Uh, yeah. I borrowed it from the trophy case in front of the gym. I thought it might be good for self-defense."

"I bet you'd be pretty good with it."

I chuckled and approached the cabinet. "Oh, well, I don't actually have much experience—I mean, any experience—with sword fighting."

"Me neither. It'd be nice if there was a place we could train." Leon returned his gaze to the sword, and gestured at it. "Can I touch your sword?"

"Um, you might get stuff on your hands."

"Okay," said Leon. "Oh, before I forget, I got some mineral water earlier. You want it?"

"Oh, sure. It'd be nice to have something to drink tonight if I get thirsty."

Leon stood up and fished a small bottle of mineral water from his pocket. He handed it to me and used his other hand to rub my shoulder. Then he fingered the fabric on my hood. "Hoodie with a blazer? Interesting combo."

Something about Leon fingering my clothing made me feel relaxed and nervous at the same time. "Uh, thanks," I said. "I got the idea from a friend of mine."

As Leon bent over to look at my clothing more closely, I noticed his necklace dangling in front of his chest.

"That's an interesting necklace," I said.

He smirked and looked down. "Yep. It's a padlock. You don't happen to have the key, do you?"

I giggled. "Uh, what?"

"You don't have the key, do you?"

"Uh, no."

"Well, fuck," Leon chuckled. "Guess I'll never get it off."

I giggled, and Leon continued studying my clothes. As his attention moved further south I became increasingly concerned about a certain feature of mine that had grown in prominence. I put my hands in my pockets and cleared my throat. "You know what? I should give you a gift, since you were kind enough to give me one."

"Dude, don't worry about it."

"I insist. Just give me a sec..."

I fished through my pockets searching for gifts. I grabbed a water bottle. _That's no good,_ I thought. _I can't just give him the same gift as he gave me._ So I kept on looking. _Water bottle, water bottle, water bottle, Emperor's Thong, water bottle, water bottle... and that's it._

_Shoot._

_I have to give him something though, don't I?_

So I pulled the Emperor's Thong out of my pocket and presented it to Leon with both hands.

It got his attention. He snickered.

"So, uh, here's your gift?" I said.

He took the gift from me. "So... you want me to put this on now, or—"

"No, no, no!" I said, chuckling. "I just, I don't know, I just happened to have the gift available."

"Uh huh."

Leon glanced down below my waist, and I quickly shoved my hands back in my pockets. Leon looked up at me and smiled.

"So, uh," said Leon, reflexively glancing back and forth to make sure no one else was around. "That gift you gave me is a lot more valuable than what I gave you."

Leon strolled in front of me, so that I was leaning back against the cabinet with the sword on it.

"Maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking," said Leon, "but I feel I should give you something in return." He smiled. 

I smiled. "Like what?"

"Close your eyes."

"Okay," I said, and I did so. My heart started beating faster. 

Leon spoke again. This time his voice came from below. "And if at any point you want me to stop, just say so."

"Okay," I whispered.

I felt Leon's hands start to unbutton my fly. I moved my hands out of my pockets to make way for him and gripped the edge of the cabinet. Leon unbuttoned my pants and unzipped my fly. Then he—

**[REMOVED TO CONFORM WITH LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL CENSORSHIP LAWS]**

I buttoned my pants, and Leon stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He chuckled. "I guess that'll have to be an appetizer. I don't want you to blow your load before you've had a chance to try everything."

"Thanks," I said. "Maybe we could switch?"

"Not yet. I have something else in mind. But first, there's something we need from the kitchen..."

* * *

I exited my room and walked down the hall, heading for the kitchen in search of something that could be used as a personal lubricant. My heart was still beating at a million B.P.M., and I was tempted to break out in a run. But first I bumped into Sayaka, who looked like she was at the end of her rope.

"Makoto!"

"Oh, hey, Sayaka. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, Makoto! Someone tried to break into my room! They—"

"Okay. Look, can we talk about this later? I'm really busy right now."

Sayaka raised her eyebrows. She was confused. "You're _busy?_ "

 _Because Leon is naked on my bed_ , I thought. But I didn't have time to explain the situation. "I'm busy right now. Could we talk about this later?"

She squeezed her eyes closed, then opened them. "Makoto, I was wondering if we could switch rooms—"

"Sure, fine. Just give me an hour."

Sayaka smiled. "Okay. I will come to your room at ten."

"Good. See you then."

I walked past Sayaka and continued down the hall, through the dining hall, and into the kitchen.

I saw Hifumi exit, carrying two small bottles of olive oil with him. "Good night, Mr. Naegi," he said.

"Uh, g'night, Hifumi," I said.

I entered the kitchen.

Most of the food had already been put away. I scoured the shelves and the refrigerators for anything that could be used as lube.

"Did Hifumi take the last of the oil?" I muttered. I sighed, and kept looking. Ultimately, all I could find was small condiment-sized packets of butter. I scooped up a couple handfuls and headed out...

...but Monokuma appeared in the doorway.

"Nyahahahahaha!" they said.

My eyes bulged open. "What?"

"Nyeheheheheehee!"

"Could you... step to the side?"

"Nyohohhohohohoho!"

I sighed. "Monokuma, what do you want?"

"Puhuhuhuhuhu...!" Monokuma gradually stopped laughing, caught their breath, and spoke. "Oh, Makoto. Just _what_ are you planning to do with three dozen packets of butter?!?"

"It's... a late night snack," I said.

"Maybe... if you're a bear!" They raised their paws.

"I'm hungry. That's it. Could you step to the side so that I can leave?"

"I tell you what. If you tell me the _real_ reason for absconding with so much butter, then I'll let you keep it."

"It's... it's..." I shrugged and sighed. "Whatever. I'll just put it back."

"Are you _sure?_ "

"Yes. Fine. I'll go hungry."

"Suit yourself!"

I walked back into the kitchen, and Monokuma vanished. Once they did, I turned and bolted out of the kitchen, through the dining hall, and down the hallway to my room.

* * *

I opened the door and entered my room. Leon lay face-down on my bed, completely nude. I smiled. 

"Oh, hey, Makoto," he said, sitting up. "What did you get?"

"Uh, the only thing I found was some butter." I showed him my handfuls of individually-wrapped condiment-sized packets of butter. "That should work, shouldn't it?"

He paused and stared. He shrugged. "Alright. Let's try it."

* * *

Almost an hour later, Leon and I were still busy when my doorbell rang.

"Oh, crap," I said. "I forgot that I was supposed to meet with Sayaka now."

"Wait, what?" said Leon.

I pulled my **[CENSORED]** out of Leon, got up, and both of us put on our clothes. We did our best to make ourselves presentable, and we walked to the door. I opened it.

"Hi, Makoto," said Sayaka. Her eyes bulged. "Oh, Leon! I didn't expect to see you here." She looked at me and feigned offense. " _Makoto!_ What are you doing in my room?"

I raised my eyebrows, then nodded slowly. "Right, right. Sorry, Sayaka. I guess I accidentally went to your room rather than mine. I'm still getting used to the layout here. We must've accidentally swapped keys as well."

Sayaka and I swapped keys, and she spoke. "I accept your apology. Just try to be more careful next time."

"Uh, sure. Let's go, Leon."

* * *

Leon and I entered Sayaka's room. I stopped.

"Oh, shoot," I said. "I forgot to grab the butter. I left it under my bed. Maybe I can grab more from the kitchen."

Suddenly, the 10 P.M. chimes sounded.

♩ **DING DONG BING BONG** ♩

Leon's eyes widened as Monokuma's message played.

"Shoot," I said. "They just shut the dining hall, didn't they?"

"Uh, you know," said Leon, scratching the back of his head, "I just remembered, I have to, uh, go to bed, because I'm feeling pretty tired right now."

"Uh, okay," I said. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you, Makotes," said Leon. Then he left.

I sat on Sayaka's bed, and let out a big sigh. Today turned out to be a pretty extraordinary day!

* * *

The next morning, however, was a cold bucket of water when I learned that Sayaka was killed during the night. Investigation was conducted throughout the day, and then the Class Trial began.

I began. "So maybe we should discuss Sayaka's dying message—"

Hiro interrupted. "Or maybe we should discuss why it happened in _your_ room! Doesn't that make _you_ the prime suspect?"

"And why was there s-so many butter packets under your b-bed?" asked Toko.

"That's a dairy interesting question," noted Hifumi.

I rubbed my forehead. "I'm sure that once we know the complete picture, we'll be able to determine which details are relevant and which aren't. So, it would seem to me that we should focus on Sayaka's dying message, which consisted of the numbers '11037'."

"It's 'Leon!'" yelled Hina. "Just turn the numbers around."

"Leon did it!" yelled Hiro. 

"No I didn't!" yelled Leon. "Don't be _stupid_ , you _stupid stupid!"_

"Everyone, hold on," I said. "Before we jump to conclusions, perhaps the first thing we should do is to form a timeline. For starters, I was with Leon from about 9 to 10 last night."

"What were you doing with Leon?" yelled Hiro.

"That doesn't ma—"

Monokuma spoke. "Puhuhuhu! What a great question! 'What was Makoto doing with Leon?' Why don't we answer it with a **Hangman's Gambit!** "

"Huh?" I said. "No, wait. We don't—"

Suddenly, an intense light shone from behind me, leaving nothing but a silhouette visible. Music played. Holographic letters swirled in front of me, and blank spaces for a seven letter word appeared below:

**_ U _ K I N G**

"You have sixty minutes," said Monokuma.

I folded my arms and remained silent.

"Uh, 'pulling'!" yelled Hiro, squinting into the light. "No, wait! 'Puking!' Were you puking?"

I cleared my throat. "Perhaps we should turn out attention to the timeline—"

"Was it 'ducking'?" yelled Hiro. "Or 'clucking'? Can a blank be more than one letter?"

"Nope!" said Monokuma. 

"Huh," said Hiro.

"Makoto," said Byakuya, blocking the light with his hand. "Just say the answer. The sooner we're done with this, the sooner we can move on."

Taka spoke. "Are we sure it isn't 'ducking'?!?"

Sakura spoke. "Could it be 'bulking'?"

"What about 'punking'?" asked Chihiro.

This wasn't getting any easier. I took a deep breath. "The answer... is ' _fucking_ ', alright?!? Between 9 P.M. and 10 P.M. last night, I was ' _fucking_ ' Leon!"

The music and the timer stopped, and the lights returned to normal. Everyone (except Byakuya and Kyoko) stood mouth agape. Leon was annoyed.

"Ding ding!" said Monokuma. "That's the correct answer!"

Hifumi snortled. "Dare I ask what the butter was for?"

I glared at Hifumi. "It was used as lube."

Everyone groaned in disgust. Leon rolled his eyes at their reaction.

"Shit," growled Mondo. "I'll never be able to look at butter the same way."

"Anyway!" I yelled. "That accounts for Leon's presence before 10 P.M. Now, Leon, at 10, you said you felt tired and needed to go somewhere, right?"

Leon answered indignantly, with folded arms. "I said I was tired and needed to go to bed. And I did."

I wasn't satisfied. "But you told me you tend to stay up pretty late, right? Why did you leave so early?"

Leon rolled his eyes. " _Maybe_ I wanted time to remove the cum you left in my ass before I went to bed!"

Monokuma, who was transfixed by the trial, suddenly perked up. "Oh, uh, **[CENSORED], [CENSORED]**. There, that should do it."

I continued. "Leon, Kyoko showed me something interesting earlier. When someone writes in a notepad, they leave an indentation in the sheets underneath, and when you shade in those sheets, it reveals the message written on the sheet above it. Kyoko showed me that Sayaka wrote a note inviting someone into her room. Leon, did you receive a note from Sayaka yesterday?"

Leon's eyes shifted back and forth. "Uh, no."

"Then how do you explain why Sayaka's dying message was 'Leon'?"

Leon shook his head. "I don't know! Maybe she was jealous. Maybe she knew something was up between us, from the balled-up towels we left under the bed, or maybe just the scents left in the air."

"T-TMI," said Toko.

Leon continued. "Maybe she got so jealous she... took her own life?" Leon shrugged and grinned.

I was dumbfounded. Leon grinned smugly at me, and I couldn't think of a response.

But then Kyoko spoke up. "What about the doorknob?" she said. "It was partly dismantled. Perhaps we should see who has opened their toolkits and who hasn't."

Leon's eyes grew wide.

* * *

After the remaining details were unraveled, a vote was held, and Leon was executed. The atmosphere was somber and heavy with fear and dread, but after a good night's sleep I felt refreshed. 

I sat with Kyoko for breakfast.

"It just feels weird," I said. "My first boyfriend was a murderer, and now he's deceased. Not to mention he tried to cheat on me with Sayaka, who tried to kill him. It's almost overwhelming."

Kyoko looked up from her noodles. "Makoto, he wasn't your boyfriend, you just slept together once."

"No! That's wrong!"

Kyoko looked at me blankly. She shook her head. "What?"

I blinked, a little embarrassed by my reflexive rebuttal. "I, uh, performed oral sex on him in the men's room just before the trial."

"Hold on. Was this before or after you had suspicions that he was the murderer?"

I scratched the back of my head. "Uh, I don't remember... All I know is that he was a lot better at it than I was. I guess you could say _he_ was the headm—"

"Don't say it." She glared at me.

We ate the rest of our breakfast in silence.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Leon the Headmaster**

**\----------**  
**| THE END |**  
**\----------**


	2. Chapter 1b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon tells the story of what really happened from his point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Danganronpa-typical violence.

Uh, yo. I'm Leon Kuwata, and you are watching a recording of me minutes before being bludgeoned by a barrage of baseballs. I have been informed by Monokuma here that this is all being televised, and the least I can do with my last few minutes before being tenderized is to entertain the viewers with the story of what happened over the past couple of days. Alright. Well, you've heard Makoto's version. Here's mine.

So maybe we should start with what my type is. I like the pure, wholesome types. And I like girls, but there's just something about cute, innocent guys like Makoto. And I am aware of the effect that I have on some guys, and that effect was crystal clear on Makoto. I mean, he just stood there, gawking at me while I was combing my hair without a shirt on. But who can blame him. And anyway, I guess part of my type is people who stare at me.

By the way, is this going to be censored? Maybe we should do a test. Fuck. Cunt. Asshole. Shit. Motherfucker. Doo-doo. Titties. ... Monokuma is gesturing his assurance that this will all be _un_ censored. I mean, he's a fucking liar, but whatever. Yeah, I'm talking about you, Monokumy. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, you kill me?

Monokuma is the name of the bear, in case you haven't bothered to watch the other footage that's been airing from this school. But anyway.

So I start flirting with Makoto. Real subtle at first. I mention how nice it would be to take a bath, how we should hang out at night. I wasn't _completely_ on message. I noticed he and Sayaka had hung out a lot, and I mentioned she'd probably be interested in him... but, you know, if she _weren't_ , I wondered if she'd like a musician or a baseball player, someone along those lines. I dunno. I guess part of me just wants to keep my options open. But Makoto seemed kinda annoyed, so I _assured_ him that I was only joking.

I, uh... So I guess we get to the first confession I'm going to make in this little story. I, uh, I got a note from Sayaka asking me to come to her room that night at 10. I should probably mention the context—this was after we got those disturbing DVDs, so I didn't know what was going through her mind—but I certainly felt flattered and curious, and I intended to take her up on her offer.

Uh, Monokumy, could you scratch my side for me? It's kinda hard to reach when my hands are tied up like this. No? Fine, whatever, bitch...

Ahem! But anyway, I was bored and restless, and it was about 9 at night and I decided to hit up Makoto first. It turns out he was napping. Had a little bit of bed head. Speaking of head... But I'm getting ahead of myself. So, yeah, I started talking with him about shit, saying how nice his clothes were, feeling the fabric—you know, typical guy stuff. I gave him some mineral water that I bought using a coin I found behind a clock, not that that's important. He then gives me a gift... and it's a fucking thong! And he's hard as a fucking rock! I mean, he's trying to hide it with the old hands-in-the-pockets trick, but it wasn't at all subtle. I mean, it was practically ready to rip a hole in his pants. He wanted me so _badly_ , and... I felt like I should oblige.

Now, I'd never actually... done anything with a guy? I mean, in my mind it was always a possibility, but how do you get from step A to step B to step C? With a girl, there are a whole bunch of rules, but if it's a guy and he's hard as a rock and can't stop staring at you? I guess chemistry just takes over.

So I tell him to close his eyes, and that I was going to give him a present. He closes his eyes and smiles. I then get down on my knees. And, by the way, now would be a good time to get the kids out of the room if you haven't already. I'm not sure what kind of dumbass parents would be watching an execution with their kids, but you never know.

So anyway, I get down on my knees, and unbuckle his pants, and unzip his fly. I pull down his briefs, and his dick comes flying out. And let me tell you, this dick was a _cock_. I grab onto it, because it's mine, now, bitch. I grab onto it like it's the microphone at a rap battle. And I wrap my mouth around it, basically letting my tongue gently wet the underside as I bring it inside.

And he gasps, just a little bit. And the end was salty, because he'd been oozing out pre-cum. Now, I know what you're thinking. _How does Leon know what cum tastes like? Did he *taste* his own cum?_ Well, let me assure you. I, Leon Kuwata, have never tasted my own cum before, because _I_ was the kind of good kid who would never do something like that. The only reason I know what pre-cum tastes like, is that it was leaking out of the end of his fucking dick. End of story.

But anyway, so his dick is in my mouth, and I wrap my lips around it and try to get some suction going, like I read on the internet. I make a little game of trying to get as far down as I can, so my nose can touch his pubes...

...but then he tells me he's about to come. It's been, like, _five seconds_. So, reluctantly, I stop. I gather my thoughts, just kneeling there while his dick is swaying in the breeze. And I make a decision. I tell him I want to try something else. But what we need is some lube. I guess Hope's Peak Academy doesn't provide it. So I ask him to check the kitchen, see if there's olive oil or something. So he leaves, and I get completely naked and lay down on his bed.

By the way, I really hope Makoto's parents aren't watching right now. But anyway...

So he returns, and the only things he can find are these little packets of butter. And he's got handfuls of the stuff, like it's going to be the foundation for a new economy or something. I tell him it'll do, and then he strips naked and starts fingering my ass. He's greasing up my hole, and greasing up his dick, and he presses his dick against my hole. There's some resistence, and we try different positions, but eventually it starts to slide in. He's goes in and out really slowly, like he's afraid he's going to hurt me, but I keep saying he should go harder. Soon enough we lay down, so I'm on my front and he's laying right on top of me, practically hugging, skin-to-skin. I am loving it...

...and then he pulls out. I ask him what's up. Turns out the fucker _came inside of me_ and didn't say a word. I mean, there's a thing called _politeness_ , Makoto. You know, giving me a heads up. I'm not saying I wouldn't have taken it, it just would've been nice to be asked.

And by the way, I know there are some busybodies out there who are going to say shit like, "why didn't they use _condoms?_ " or "they should've waited until _marriage_ ". Listen: Fuck you. Just give us this one thing, alright? Life's difficult enough as it is, especially when you're in murder school.

So now comes my second confession. Makoto's lying next to me in bed, in that post-orgasm afterglow, and I... I _kiss_ him. And he kisses me back, and we make out. And things quickly get kinda hot and heavy, and I almost feel like _I'm_ gonna come, and there's clearly an effect on him as well. He gets hard again, I turn over, he applies more lube, and then we go at it again. This time he lasts a lot longer, and we must've been going for at least half an hour, him just riding me, before we get interrupted.

By the way, Monokumy, I know I've called you a lot of things, but I do have to give you kudos for that music you play over the speakers, especially in the Investigation stage which followed the, uh, _incident_ which I will discuss momentarily. If that music was playing earlier, I guarantee Makoto would've came twice.

But anyway, Sayaka, of all people, knocks at Makoto's door. We quickly get dressed. I shove the sheets, towels, and butter packets and wrappers under the bed. We meet her at the door, but then she acts like Makoto's room is actually her room. Kinda strange, but whatever. So Makoto and I go to Sayaka's room, but then the notice comes over the monitors saying it's 10 o'clock, and I suddenly realize I should meet with Sayaka.

Now, look, I know it doesn't look good to sneak off to meet Sayaka after being with Makoto. But I figured, I'm _definitely_ going to get another chance with Makoto, but I might get a chance with Sayaka as well. I mean, I'm only human, and what red-blooded male wouldn't want to get down with a guy like Makoto and a girl like Sayaka on the same day?

So I leave to meet Sayaka at what I now know was Makoto's room all along. I knock. She lets me in... and then the next thing I know, she's _lunging_ at me with a fucking knife! I yelp and jump out of the way, and grab the golden sword, still in-sheath, and use that as defense. I eventually manage to hit her arm, and she drops the knife. So now she's defenseless, backed against the corner of the room and clutching her wrist, and I'm holding the sword, and pointing it at her...

...and she stops. And I slowly lower my sword. And she starts crying. She sinks to the floor. She gives a puzzled look at the crap we left under the bed, you know, the butter wrappers and balled-up sheets. I put down my sword and tell her that, whatever it is, she doesn't have to explain, we're under a very stressful situation, and that I'm willing to forgive her.

Look, I know what you guys are all thinking, and yes, I did, in fact, think that I still had a chance with her after she tried to kill me. Of that, at least, I'm guilty.

But we start chatting for a while, and eventually we start brainstorming a plan. We discuss it very quietly with each other, so Monokuma can't hear over the security cameras.

By the way, Sayaka needed to use the bathroom during our talk, and we found out the knob wasn't working. So, I went back to my room and got my toolkit, then attempted to fix it. So that's why my toolkit was opened.

But anyway, so Sayaka and I made a plan. We start talking, and we get into a fight about Makoto. Now, this is all an act for the cameras, but obviously she didn't know what happened between me and Makoto...

* * *

Leon trailed off as he looked into the distance at Sayaka, who ran up to him.

"Sayaka!" yelled Leon.

"Leon!" yelled Sayaka.

"I knew you'd pull it off!" laughed Leon. He turned his attention back to the camera. "Everyone, this whole stunt was an act. Fortunately, nobody in this dumbass school knows how to check for a pulse. And I guess our little act for the camera even fooled Monokuma."

"Yes!" laughed Sayaka. She caught her breath. "Um, what were you saying about—"

Monokuma interrupted them. "I was _not_ fooled by your hoax. You are still responsible for Sayaka's death!"

"Uh, she's alive, bitch," said Leon to Monokuma. "Doesn't that mean I didn't kill her?"

"Leon," said Sayaka, "I just got here, so I'm a little bit confused. What were you saying about you and Makoto? And what is all this?" She looked around.

"Oh, crap," said Leon. "Sayaka, get away from me!"

But it was too late. Monokuma pressed a button, and both Sayaka and Leon were killed in a barrage of baseballs.

"Aaaaahahahahaha!" laughed Monokuma. "Ahahahaha! Ah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so stupid.


End file.
